Earth Day Hoppiness

Greetings and warm salutations! It’s great to see you again =D You have found the Earth Day Bloghop! I know, I know, this is an amazing post, but if you haven’t seen the others, you’re missing out big time. To start the hop from the beginning, click here. Or on the image below.

You might wonder what I have in store for you. Well, today I decided to do something fun and different. As my friend pointed out to me, what could be more Earth-friendly than werewolves? And because we all know that they can be cuddly and also bite your hand off if you pet them the wrong way, I decided I should share my Dating Werewolves Survival Guide. Enjoy!

Dating Werewolves: a survival guide.

This guide is meant to aid and ease interactions between werewolves and other species. The advice and rules contained inside are a result of years of detailed research into the life and social interactions of werewolves. Following these rules will not guarantee life-long mating for parties involved. However, failure to follow the rules may result in injury or accidental death. Extreme caution is recommended in all interactions with werewolves.

– – – – –

Rule One: Do NOT bring a leash on the first date. This is a major turn off and will cause your Were-date to eat you alive — and not in a good way!!

Rule Two: Be aware that your Were-date is a carnivore. Sushi restaurants are a no no. Another is open/bleeding wounds.

Rule Three: Weres like to play. This is normal. Blowing bubbles with soap is considered fun. Play along. Or back away slowly. Do Not Run. See Rule Eight for details.

Rule Four: If you do not like fur on your couch/sofa, do not date a Were. While they are meticulous about personal hygiene, some shedding may occur.

Rule Five: Full moon nights get complicated. Emotional baggage will form. If you can’t handle it, think of somewhere else to be during that time of the month.

Addendum to Rule Five: If your Were is female, there is another time of the month when it is unwise to be in close proximity. If you do not know what this means, you should not be dating. If the two mentioned times of the month coincide, disregard Rule Eight and run for your life.

Rule Six: Weres are animals in bed. You’re welcome.

Rule Seven: It is a myth that Weres are loners. They are not. They have packs, sometimes with many members of the opposite sex. Trying to separate your Were from his/her pack is a no no and will, in fact, get you dead, fast and bloody.

Rule Eight: Chases are a turn on. If in fear for your life, do not make any sudden movements. Say good bye politely and back away slowly. Moving to another state is suggested. Identity change and/or plastic surgery highly recommended.

Rule Nine: Howling is a pack ritual. Though it is sometimes purely for entertainment, it is a Weres-Only activity. Howling with or around your Were will be considered a mockery or insult and will result in bodily injury. See Rule Two for details.

Rule Ten: Despite their wild nature, Weres are, in fact, very monogamous. People who prefer variety should not date a Were. Infidelity in any way, shape, or form will not be tolerated and will result in bodily injury. See Rule Two for details.


53 thoughts on “Earth Day Hoppiness

    • Alianne

      Heheh Kayelle! These rules are part of a set of stories I am working on. I swear, half the content I have so far is romance/drama and the other half is pure comedy. I can’t seem to get away from the Weres (not that I want to!)

  1. Sue Sattler

    Okay now that I’m all set with the rules, point me to the weres! I don’t mind shedding and being chased can be so much fun!

  2. Shadow

    lol I loved the rules. Im still chuckling. Too funny! Thanks! On that list, is there anywhere about how to find one? Dogs, or in this case were, are a girls best friend! hehe Thank you for the awesome hop and giveaway! 😉

  3. Rae M.

    All these rules are so very awesome! I love the addendum to number 5. Of course that applies even if she isn’t a werewolf.

    Now if I could just get my hands on a werewolf, life would be complete! I could invest in a lint roller and he could follow through with rule number 6!

    Thanks! And Happy Earth Day!

  4. booksaver

    It’s nice to know the rules, thank you for sharing. Have a happy Earth Day. Love those weres.

    seriousreader at live dot com

  5. Joder

    Great rules that I’ll be keeping in mind if I’m ever alone in the woods at night. Fun post!

    joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

  6. Barbara

    Too fun…rules to live by, for sure LOL! Happy Earth Day! (psst…now, tell me where are those handsome weres???)

  7. Laura K

    What a funny post! I’ll have to copy/paste it into an email because to print it out would go against the principles of Earth Day!

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