Welcome, welcome to another fantastic Blog Hop! The beginning is here. Check out the posts by some wonderful authors. We’re giving away a NOOK eReader to one lucky winner, and tons of books and other goodies are up for grabs, so don’t be shy! =D

This time around, the handy dandy scene generator told us what to write. My “assignment” was: Author, serial murderer and bodyguard at a police station. Oh, boy did I have fun with this one! Read on for another episode of Weres Gone Respectable (Or Attempted To, Anyway…)

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wndr frm dwn undr @ fair 2day… he’s a killr!

“Let me tell you a story.”

“Oh! Is it a love story?”

“… No.”

“She wasn’t talking to you. She’s talking to me. Butt out.”

“How do you know? She’s not even looking at you.”

There was a scuffle and the police officer on duty shoved to his feet, hand on the taser at his waist. Mia shook her head, subtly waving him back. “So this story,” she said loudly so the two idiots would hear. “It’s very good, if I do say so myself.” She shifted in her seat and made herself comfortable. “It’s a parody.”

“I love parodies.”

“Shut your mouth,” Joe growled. Actually growled. “Mia, get me the hell out of here.”

She considered that. “No… No, I don’t think I will.” Not yet, anyway.

“Aw, come on! You can’t leave me in here with… what are you, anyway?”

“Mink,” came the distinct answer. “You know, you’re kind of cute, for a wolf.”

There were more soft sounds and then Joe’s back slammed against the bars. “Mia, get me out this second!” He whined. “I think he wants to brush my hair.”

“I promise you’ll like it,” the mink purred.

“Mia!”

As fun as this was, Mia didn’t have the patience for it. “Both of you shut up! I was talking.”

“Go ahead, honey.”

“Thank you, Mink. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Once upon a time, there was a smart, beautiful, talented young woman whose boyfriend was an idiot.”

“How many times will you make me say it? I said I’m sorry.”

She ignored him. “One day, the happy couple went their separate ways for a few hours. The woman was meeting her friends in town for a Summer Solstice celebration and the idiot was supposed to be preparing for his big boys bonfire night. But just before the charming lady left the house, her phone got a text message she never received. Do you know why?”

“Yes,” Joe growled.

“I can guess,” the mink said and giggled.

“What are you in here for, anyway?” Joe asked him.

Mia heard the shrug in the mink’s voice when he answered. “You know those guys that have been disappearing?”

“The ones they found in a ditch outside of town?”

“Yeah, those.”

Joe sucked in a breath. “Mia,” he whispered, “help!!”

“She didn’t get the message because her idiot boyfriend intercepted it. Didn’t tell his girlfriend, mind you, which could have spared him a lot of pain late on, but what can ya do?” By gods, ancestors, and hunky Hollywood immortals, he would sit there and listen to this. “So instead of communicating, like a good boyfriend should, he took a perfectly innocent text completely out of context, ditched his buddies and decided to go on a quest, stalking his girlfriend.”

“Damn it, guard! You can’t do this? What the hell? You just put a serial killer in a cell at County? And lock him up with another potential victim?”

“Sir,” the police officer said, coming forward. “I need you to settle down.”

“Oh, leave him,” the mink said. “He’s so cute when he’s all ruffled.”

Mia suppressed a snort. “So the woman’s day was going great. She had fun with her friends, had a delicious lunch, and then they all went to the town fair to meet a visitor–which the woman hadn’t expected because she never got the text message, but she gamely went along with it. At first meeting, the visitor looked really familiar to her, but she couldn’t place him. And then it clicked. The hunky, smexily-accented, familiar stranger turned out to be her aunt’s favorite cousin, Mitch. And no wonder she hadn’t recognized him, she hadn’t seen him since they were ten! When the woman realized this, she smiled and opened her arms to greet her relative, only to have her idiot boyfriend tackle the guy and start beating on him.”

“I thought I was protecting you!”

She finally swiveled her chair around to face the holding cell. “Yes, fearless bodyguard, people die from hugs every day. I owe you my life.”

The mink snorted and inspected his nails.

Joe shot him a nervous look over his shoulder and then looked back at Mia as if she was a lifeline. “Mia, babe,” he said, dropping to his knees, “I am so sorry I broke your cousin’s head. I was wrong. But the last time I went out with a stranger, it ended with a lot of duct tape and a wooden stake. Yeah, I made a mistake, but I thought I was doing the male thing, you know, protecting my female. I promise you I will make it up to you. Just please, please, baby. Get me out of here!”

Mia sighed. She looked at the police officer, whose lip was twitching suspiciously, but he offered no help with this decision. When she looked at the mink, he grinned and winked. “If you don’t want ‘em, I’ll take ‘em.”

That elicited another whiny noise from Joe. He was pressing his face between the bars as if he could squeeze himself through to get out.

All right, yeah, he was an idiot. But his heart was in the right place. And if she left him in jail she’d have no one to dance with at the bonfire tonight. Not to mention unclog the drain in the guest bathroom tomorrow. And he took a pretty serious beating from Mitch, too. The only reason he was here and Mitch was in the ER waiting room was because Mitch happened to lose consciousness for a minute and Joe started it. They’d both be back to normal in a couple of hours, tops. But as pack enforcer, Mia was the one who had to deal with this crap.

“You’re on probation until further notice,” she told Joe. “You don’t scratch your nose unless I say it’s okay. Got it?”

“Yes. Yes! Thank you.” He got to his feet and rattled the bars to get the police man’s attention. “Out, please!”

As soon as the cell was open, Joe raced out like a shot. Mia just shook her head. Then she cast the mink a curious glance. “Did you really kill all those men?”

The mink’s arched eyebrows shot up. “Are you kidding? Hell no! Didn’t you see their pictures? Hawt!” He shook his head sadly. “Damn waste is what it is. Nuh-uh, girlfriend. I didn’t touch ‘em.”

“So then what are you in here for?” Sometimes shifter territories overlapped. She might be able to help him out.

“Streaking,” the police officer said. “He staged a nude rally search party for the missing victims.”

“We’re shifters!” the mink protested. ”Most of the attendants came in their animal forms. What were we supposed to do? Tie fig leaves together so the human prudes won’t get offended?” He shook his head in disgust. “Typical human crap. Can’t even stand the sight of their own bodies. There’s nothing wrong with them, you know!”

“…Right,” the police officer continued dryly. “The rally took place without permits and employed fog horns and boom boxes in close proximity to a residential area.” Which was cop-speak for, They were loud, obnoxious and naked around kids.

The mink flipped him off.

“Neighbors called us in when they started… bending over.”

For this, the mink seemed to have no response.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

He shrugged. “We were being thorough.”

Greetings and warm salutations! It’s great to see you again =D You have found the JustRomance.me Earth Day Bloghop! I know, I know, this is an amazing post, but if you haven’t seen the others, you’re missing out big time. To start the hop from the beginning, click here. Or on the image below.

You might wonder what I have in store for you. Well, today I decided to do something fun and different. As my friend pointed out to me, what could be more Earth-friendly than werewolves? And because we all know that they can be cuddly and also bite your hand off if you pet them the wrong way, I decided I should share my Dating Werewolves Survival Guide. Enjoy!

Dating Werewolves: a survival guide.

 Foreword
This guide is meant to aid and ease interactions between werewolves and other species. The advice and rules contained inside are a result of years of detailed research into the life and social interactions of werewolves. Following these rules will not guarantee life-long mating for parties involved. However, failure to follow the rules may result in injury or accidental death. Extreme caution is recommended in all interactions with werewolves.

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Rule One: Do NOT bring a leash on the first date. This is a major turn off and will cause your Were-date to eat you alive — and not in a good way!!

Rule Two: Be aware that your Were-date is a carnivore. Sushi restaurants are a no no. Another is open/bleeding wounds.

Rule Three: Weres like to play. This is normal. Blowing bubbles with soap is considered fun. Play along. Or back away slowly. Do Not Run. See Rule Eight for details.

Rule Four: If you do not like fur on your couch/sofa, do not date a Were. While they are meticulous about personal hygiene, some shedding may occur.

Rule Five: Full moon nights get complicated. Emotional baggage will form. If you can’t handle it, think of somewhere else to be during that time of the month.

Addendum to Rule Five: If your Were is female, there is another time of the month when it is unwise to be in close proximity. If you do not know what this means, you should not be dating. If the two mentioned times of the month coincide, disregard Rule Eight and run for your life.

Rule Six: Weres are animals in bed. You’re welcome.

Rule Seven: It is a myth that Weres are loners. They are not. They have packs, sometimes with many members of the opposite sex. Trying to separate your Were from his/her pack is a no no and will, in fact, get you dead, fast and bloody.

Rule Eight: Chases are a turn on. If in fear for your life, do not make any sudden movements. Say good bye politely and back away slowly. Moving to another state is suggested. Identity change and/or plastic surgery highly recommended.

Rule Nine: Howling is a pack ritual. Though it is sometimes purely for entertainment, it is a Weres-Only activity. Howling with or around your Were will be considered a mockery or insult and will result in bodily injury. See Rule Two for details.

Rule Ten: Despite their wild nature, Weres are, in fact, very monogamous. People who prefer variety should not date a Were. Infidelity in any way, shape, or form will not be tolerated and will result in bodily injury. See Rule Two for details.

Welcome to the Valentine’s Day Blog Hop! If you found this post, check out the others too. There are plenty of great authors to meet and nifty prizes to win, too. Just click the image to go to the start of the hop.

This year, a scene generator created the setting for me: flippant werewolf, heartless banker, and creepy nurse in a restaurant kitchen. So, naturally, I let my wolf pack out to play. LOL Enjoy!

Be My Werelentine

Just figured that Valentine’s Day this year fell on a full moon night and Zach’s restaurant was so packed he probably wasn’t getting out until sunrise. This made her cranky. And a cranky Bree was a dangerous-to-humans Bree. It didn’t help that her pain in the ass pack mates took great pleasure in making her miserable. They’d deliberately brought their dates here to piss her off. She had a full moon night to frolic away and couldn’t, because her boyfriend was stuck here making gluten free lasagna and spaghetti and meatballs without the meatballs.

She’d parked her slinky red dressed ass on one end of the counter. If Bree had to be miserable, everyone else would be too. Zach gave her a look, but refrained from commenting. Smart man.

Two minutes later he was in front of her. “Move your feet, I need the truffles.”

Bree smiled and spread her knees so he could get to the cabinet beneath her. Instead of reaching for his mushrooms, he stepped between her legs and hooked an arm around her hips, dipping his head to give her a kiss. A deep, tongue and teeth, toe curling, heart stopping, melt your dress off into a puddle kiss. Whuh! “Two more hours and we’re out of here,” he promised.

“And then what?”

Zach grinned with just a hint of fang and a delightfully predatory glint in his eyes. Instant butterfly inducer. And damn if he didn’t know it. “Then you’ll see.”

Bree pouted. “Promises, promises.”

“Two red plate specials, one hot stuff platter and table seven wants another round,” the harried waitress shouted from the door and then disappeared back into the restaurant.

Zach growled so low it felt like an earthquake.

“Shot in the dark,” Bree said dryly. “Table seven is Mia and Hunny’s double date.”

Zach looked positively murderous.

“Aaand I’m guessing they’ve been here a while.”

A miniscule dip of his chin that may have been a nod.

“You want me to go talk to them?”

“You planning to break stuff again?”

“That was one time! And I paid for the damage, didn’t I?” The look he gave her spoke volumes about how impressed he was with that. “Fine,” she said, taking out her cell phone. She scrolled through her contacts list and typed a quick but succinct text message to Joe.

“You’re smiling,” Zach said. “I don’t like it when you smile like that. It means something’s about to go very wrong for someone.”

“Someone not you,” she consoled.

“Yeah, last time it was… that werecoon, wasn’t it?”

Inside the restaurant, a scream split the air.

Zach winced when glass began shattering. Bree could only shrug and look her most innocent. It wasn’t her this time.

Curses and shouts didn’t echo in there, but from the volume, they probably ought to. And then there was the delightful sound Bree could only interpret as Mia’s mate Joe tossing Mia over his shoulder and marching her harsh-faced out of the restaurant. One down, one more to go.

Zach sighed. “Three… two… one…”

The swinging door opened and Hunny entered, just barely enough for the door to close all the way behind her, but no farther. She gave Bree an awed look. “You’re evil,” she said. Then she grinned. “I like it.” Puffing out her chest and raising her chin, she decreed, “Noble foe, you have matched your meet!” and she marched out.

“Damn,” Bree muttered. “So close.”

The waitress stuck her head back inside. “Clean up on aisle two, one more special and two large, heart shaped pepperoni pizzas.” Gone before she’d even finished the sentence.

After one last scorching kiss, Zach left her to attend to his chef’s duties and Bree went back to counting seconds. When the door opened again, she expected the waitress, but a different manner of human entered. He was tallish and skinny, with very pale skin and very dark hair. It didn’t help that he was dressed in black scrubs.

He went right up to Zach and started saying something in his ear, holding out a small baggie of white pills. Bree’s eyebrows inched up. Was he serious? Zach shook his head at whatever the man was saying. He tried again, the dark circles under his eyes making the pale irises look creepy as hell. Finally, Zach snapped, “Boy, enough. I am not drugging your date so she’ll have sex with you. Get the hell out of my kitchen before I call the cops.”

The human scowled. “Can I at least get the dish and bring it to her myself.”

This was going to be fun. It always was when Zach’s face went deadpan like that. She all but wiggled in her seat as Zach took the plate of spaghetti and meatballs, sans the meatballs, and dumped it over the creep’s head. “Order up,” he said, spinning the man around and shoving him out of the kitchen. He even managed to snatch the baggie of drugs. It got dumped into the sink.

No sooner had Zach returned to the stove than the door opened yet again. Another human, this one dressed in a power suit starched to perfection. His teeth were blindingly white when he smiled like he expected someone to swoon at the sight. Bree rolled her eyes. “Maestro!”

Zach jerked his chin in greeting.

Clearly not the reaction banker boy had been hoping for. But he recovered quickly and stepped up to Zach, clapping him on the shoulder. “Listen, I’ve got a hot date later on tonight. And I mean, show stopper, you know what I’m saying? I mean sex on legs, tits like heaven, and an ass to die for.”

Zach grinned at Bree. “Yeah, I got one of those too.”

She winked and adjusted her bra strap. Wires were the bane of her existence. The things I endure for my man.

“Yeah, whatever,” the suit said. “I gotta take the girlfriend home and then I’m picking up my sexy lady. This place closes in two hours right? You think you can have the place cleared out in two and a half?”

“Planning on it.”

“Fantastic. Just leave the door unlocked and light some candles, yeah?” He was holding out a wad of cash.

“Door’s locking in two, chief.”

“And unlocking in two and a half, right?”

Zach stopped stirring the sauce and turned to the banker, blank faced.

“Come on, man, you can be reasonable, can’t you?”

Bree frowned. “That girlfriend of yours,” she said, “the one you’re dropping off for the night. That wouldn’t happen to be the pretty brunette in the blue dress, would it?” The nervous, shy one who kept brushing her hair back in that fidgety way humans had when they were trying to disguise a poorly timed reach for someone’s hand.

“Yeah, so what?”

“So, she seems really nice.”

Banker boy chuckled. “Stay out of this, sweetheart, this is men’s business. Chef here understands, don’t you, buddy?”

Zach shook his head, biting back a grin and went back to stirring.

Bree hopped down from her perch and advanced on him. “Men don’t make their women into business,” she said.

“Oh, here we go.”

“Who said you could speak?” she snapped, almost toe to toe with him.

Zach, watching the show with amusement he wasn’t even bothering to conceal. “You really stepped in it now, pal.”

“Listen, bitch–”

The sound of his nose breaking cut him off. Bree rubbed her forehead while he cupped his face and squealed like a pig. “You broke my nose!”

“Hurts, doesn’t it? Not nearly as much as a broken heart. Not that you’d know that, being that you don’t actually have one.”

The punch he aimed at her never landed. Zach grabbed the man’s arm, twisted it behind him and slammed his face down on the counter, breaking his nose more. Without a word, he ushered the bleeder out the back door and shoved him into a week’s worth of trash.

Bree didn’t skip a beat, just picked up her phone and dialed another number. “Byron, hey. You busy tonight? There’s a sweetheart of a girl at Zach’s whose piss poor excuse of a boyfriend won’t be coming back from the bathroom. You wanna come sweep her off her feet? Great. See you in ten.”

She hung up just as Zach returned. “Gimme that,” he said.

“Why?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day, the moon’s full, and my date just flashed her claws,” he said, giving her a heated once-over. “I’m calling the twins to lock up.”

Bree grinned and handed her phone over with a flourish. “Make it quick, will you?” There would be wolf songs howled about tonight.

And she planned on them being very, very raunchy.