Love a Tree, Read an E-Book Blog Hop

Greetings! You have found the Love a Tree, Read an E-Book blog hop! If you are just joining us, check out the hop from the beginning. Just click the image below to go back to the start.

This is a special event so I am postponing my usual Friday DIYday post until next week, but don’t worry, it will be there ;) Okay, so Earth Day is not exactly a pagan holiday, but it’s as close to it as modern society will probably ever get to honoring the Earth which, you know, keeps us all alive. I was going to post another episode of Wacky Weres but then I realized I have something better. So instead, I am sharing a little excerpt from my latest release The Royal Wizard, which is both pagan and a teasy. Enjoy!

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Beltaine

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TRW_ERRTorches were lit all at once when the sun kissed the western tree line, flooding the courtyard with blazing light. It was magic as much as fire; hundreds of hearts beating together in the same wish for children and a healthy harvest later in the year. Saeran could almost see their prayers shimmering interspersed with torchlight, floating among the sparks thrown by bonfires. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

Every house was decorated with vibrant flags and ribbons to celebrate the beginning of summer, every man woman and child dressed in their finest. The music was loud, the laughter even louder, but through it all the breeze teased him with secrets of things unseen. The Others were walking among them tonight. Saeran strained to catch a glimpse of even one, but he saw nothing.

He weaved amidst the crowds, searching for anything that was out of place. The courtyard was a melee of dancers and revelers, the great hall open to everyone on this holy night, for all were equal before the gods. Instead of formal feasts, everyone would go to the altar on the hill where offerings to the gods would be made.

Nia would lead the procession. She would weave spells around her to make sparkling lights follow in her wake and her white robes would glitter in the dying light with a magic of their own. There would be flowers in her hair and a golden mask covering her eyes and nose.  She would be the embodiment of the goddess Frigga.

They come, they gather, the breeze whispered. They come to see…

“What?” Saeran asked.

See, the breeze repeated, swirling around him once and then streaming toward the castle. See…

Saeran walked in the direction of the wind. He focused his intention as Nia had taught him, willed it into a vision to See the Others among his people. It took him long moments to realize he was following a leyline, and when he saw what it was leading him to, the young king almost dropped to his knees.

In an instant, all became quiet and the crowds parted to create a passage. They bowed deeply as Nia passed, paying homage to her and the goddess of fertility she embodied. Saeran forgot to breathe. She glided along the uneven ground on bare feet, her step silent but for the tinkling of tiny bells that none could see. It was an illusion, the king told himself, but couldn’t be certain.

See…

He saw.

He kept his features calm, falling in step behind her; the first in the procession. It was his right as king. The breeze wafted over him, bringing with it the scent of her. She was summer. She was sunshine and flowers, rainstorms and life.

As they passed the outer gate, a cheer went up and the music and revelry resumed, following in their wake. Nia never faltered. She led the way to the hill, oblivious to everything else. When she reached the altar, she turned to face the crowds and raised her arms above her head, speaking to the heavens and the setting sun. She called for blessings upon the land and all who lived on it, asking for a bountiful harvest and happiness for couples young and old.

When she finished speaking, she rounded the altar and passed her hands over it. Then the villagers came forward, placing their small offerings onto the slab of stone. They brought wreaths of wild flowers, pieces of fruit, if they had any, or puppets made of hay, ribbons and cloth. They brought what they could spare to please the gods, laying it before Nia and speaking soft prayers as if she truly was the goddess who looked after them.

Nia accepted the gifts formally, thanking each person and blessing them as they passed. The offerings would be left on the altar for the gods to do with as they pleased. No one was allowed to take from them, lest they incur their wrath.

The foreigners came forward at the end, each taking part in the ceremony as they would. Sir Frederick gave a silken handkerchief, saying a prayer of thanks to both the gods and Nia herself. He bowed deeply to her as he stepped away and Nia nodded to him in acknowledgement. The rest of the knights followed suit, one bringing a piece of bread, another a carved wooden horse, the third a piece of chain mail, and the last a single red bloom. She nodded in thanks and blessed all of them as well.

Finally it was the king’s turn and, for him, Nia rounded the altar once more to face him without barrier. The king had no tribute to give. It was tradition for him to show respect to the gods by proving his humility.

Saeran stepped forward, grateful the ritual required no words. His mouth was too dry for him to speak. The fires sang out with the wind, even the sky added its voice to the chorus. He bowed his head before Nia and knelt. The crowd echoed with a prayer for the king, that he might find a wife soon and sire offspring, and their voices made the earth shudder beneath him.

Nia touched a hand to his chin, urging him to look up. When he did, she leaned down and kissed him, as was custom. Saeran balled his hands into fits, fighting the urge to pull her to him and kiss her the way he wanted to. He was drunk with the scent of her, the feel of her lips so chaste against his.

Too soon, she withdrew. In the darkness, only he could see the hesitation in her movements as she straightened and he wished the others would disappear. “Rise, King Saeran,” she said, her voice ringing out over the hill. “May your reign be prosperous for all the years to come.”

He obeyed, but he couldn’t make his feet move him from the spot. For a moment they merely stared at each other, caught in an instant of pure magic. It pulsated in the air around them like a heartbeat, making it difficult to breathe.

Another cheer went up, startling them both, and Saeran forced himself to walk away. The bonfire would burn all through the night, and few would leave before the sun rose again to light their way home.

Nia faced the altar and once more raised her arms above her head, her own tribute and offering. She removed the flowers from her hair and placed them on the altar, saying a soft prayer. Then she turned in a circle thrice and dissolved into mist, disappearing from sight.

When she reappeared next to Saeran, her golden mask was gone. Instead of white robes, she wore the blue ones she’d received at her presentation and the wolf skin over it. She watched the celebrations with a smile on her face, though it seemed a disguise for something else lurking beneath her carefully composed mask of calm.

Only those too young or too old stayed to the side; the rest danced around the fire in celebration. The foreigners, Saeran noted, did not dance either. But while four of them watched the revelers, the fifth’s eyes searched through the crowd until they settled on Nia. It was the selfsame knight who had gazed at her in the great hall, the same one who’d presented her with a red bloom and placed it so close to her hand. Arnaud was infatuated with the wizard, and he’d scarce seen her once since he’d arrived.

Lady Brigit spun out of the circle and caught Saeran’s hands. “A dance for the fire spirits, your Majesty?” She pulled him into the throng before he could answer, obliging him to dance. She held him so close he was tripping over her skirts, but Brigit only laughed. Saeran suspected the lady had sampled the mead one too many times. It loosened her tongue enough to say, “A finer king Wilderheim has never had! Maidens are praying for you tonight, that you will choose a wife and make her queen, but each of them wants you for herself.”

It was nothing he hadn’t heard before, but tonight the flattery only served to remind him that he’d already chosen.

Brigit grabbed his waist and spun them around. She leaned in and said, “If you choose me—”

Saeran didn’t hear the end of it because the seamstress sisters, Finna and Maeve, pulled him away, chattering one over the other. He danced around the fire thrice, and each time he thought he was free someone pulled him back into the jig. Saeran heard Nia squeal. The woodsman, Dahl, had picked her up one-armed to dance her around. Like Saeran, she was passed from one to the next, but unlike him, she seemed to enjoy it. The fire illuminated her laughing face as she spun and hopped directly across from him.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Saeran saw the knight Arnaud step into the fray, following Nia. She was in Hundr’s arms now, but before Arnaud could join them, Hundr passed Nia to Geir and away from the knight. Geir lifted Nia by her waist to spin her around while Saeran found himself with the shy Dagmar in his arms. He smiled at her briefly, but his attention was on Nia and the knight following after her from Geir to Konall, to old Sigmarr, and back to Geir.

“Your Majesty!” Brigit called, but Hundr pulled her away as Elsa replaced Dagmar. Maeve caught the knight’s hand, but he shook her off and continued around the circle after Nia like a bloodhound after a scent. Saeran turned Svana around to go the opposite way. Hundr with Brigit danced quicker than the rest, past him and halfway around the circle in a few steps. And just as Nia spun away from Tannir, as Saeran was preparing to switch partners yet again, Brigit stuck her foot out and tripped Nia in the direction of the blazing bonfire. Saeran let go of Svana with gasp and made a grab for Nia as she tipped forward, arms flailing to stop herself.

He caught hold of her sleeve and pulled her upright into his arms just in time, and when her gaze met his, Saeran went deaf and blind to the world. Nia.

She shivered as if she’d heard him speak her name. She couldn’t have. Only in the deepest, most secret corner of his heart would he ever dare to say it that way, with the whole of his soul calling out in anguished longing to the mate it could not reach.

“Lady Nia,” Arnaud said close enough to startle him.

Saeran felt his mouth pull into a snarl. With Nia in his arms, he spun out of the circle of dancers. Darkness pulled around them and a facsimile of them broke off to continue in the current of dancers. The darkness was his; the illusion Nia’s. Taking her hand in his, he pulled her into the woods, far from prying eyes.

Want to know what happens next?

Check out The Royal Wizard at your favorite eBook retailers:

Amazon | Barnes and Noble | iTunes | Sony | Kobo | Smashwords

A Very Naughty Pack New Year

Hello and welcome! You have found the Naughty New Year Blog Hop. If you’re just joining us now, you may want to check out all the other posts in the hop. Start here, or click on the banner below. There are a lot of prizes being given away, including a Kindle Fire HD 7”. I myself will be giving away the Blood Series books: Blood Moons, Blood Trails, and Blood Debts to one lucky commenter. No need to be fancy, just leave a comment, say hi and you are eligible to win =)

** The contest is now over. Congratulations to the winner: Rae M.! **

Hop starts here

And now I would like to introduce the younger members of the wolf pack. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the shenanigans of youth.

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A Very Naughty Pack New Year

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When some moneyed brat says, “You smell like pound,” it sucks. When a wolf says it, well, boy, you better start running. That was what his classmate said, anyway. The thing was, for said classmate, “pound” meant orphanage. For Jon it literally meant dog pound. And the thing about wolves is, you can’t run from them when you’re locked in a cage.

“Score!” a kid yelled from the room the dude was taking him to and Jon twisted his arm in his grasp to get free.

“Stop, or I smack your nose with a newspaper,” the wolf growled.

“That only works on dogs,” Jon retorted, but he did settle. He’d seen Joe bare his fangs and had no wish to be on the receiving end of them. Ever. Which was why he had decided the moment he was out of that pound cage that he would never be too proud to hide from him behind Mia.

Joe opened the door and shoved Jon through. “Happy new year. You get a buddy,” he said. “Don’t eat ‘em.” And then he just walked away, leaving Jon alone to face the six wolf pups, all between ages of fourteen and eighteen, staring at him like he was prey. Gulp, much?

“Who are you?” the only female in the group asked.

“What are you?” A tall boy with a fearsome frown added. “You smell like–”

“Don’t say pound,” Jon said.

“Name.”

“Age.”

“Sports team affiliation.”

Jon looked from pup to pup, wondering which they wanted him to answer first.

“Are you deaf?”

“Leave him alone, he’s obviously scared,” the female said.

“Dude, he’s like ten feet tall and built like a tank!” the frowner retorted.

Jon hunched his shoulders. So he was a little big for his age. And his species. His Nana used to joke that he’d inherited the primordial gene from way back when their kind used to be really huge. If so, then that gene only applied to his human form. Which kind of sucked when you met a mouthy shifter and he wolfed out on you, and then the shifter laws compelled you to change too. On the other hand, a fight survived by making the enemy laugh too hard to attack was still a fight survived.

“Don’t mind him,” one of the smaller ones said, smirking. “He hasn’t had his daily dose of Power Rangers yet. I’m Tim. If you call me Tiny Tim I will eat you.”

“And I’m Matt,” the frowner said, putting an arm around the female. “And this here is my future mate, Chloe.”

The other boys snorted. “You wish.”

Matt growled at them and Mia rolled her eyes, shoving Matt’s arm off her. “I’m gonna go talk to Joe. You lot behave.”

They waited until she left to start the hazing. And you really haven’t known fear until you’ve had a mini pack of wolves cant their heads low and circle you while sniffing the air trying to suss out what you are. Or rather, how eatable you might be.

“You still haven’t told me your name,” Matt said.

“You haven’t asked me nicely,” Jon replied with a shrug.

One of the others gave a toothy grin. ”Bet I can get it out of him.”

Tim snorted. “Bet he’ll tell Chloe.”

Jon blushed. Yeah, he would tell her if she asked. She was really cute for a wolf and the only one who hasn’t looked at him like dinner. Yet. To cover it up, he drew his shoulders back and met Matt’s gaze head on. “Bet I can get to second base with her faster than you.”

“Whoa.” The rest of the boys drew back like Matt was about to explode.

“You think you’re funny, new guy?”

Jon shrugged.

“Well I got three words for you. Never. Gonna. Happen.”

“We’ll see.”

Matt frowned, canting his head to the side. He sniffed, then leaned far into Jon’s personal space to sniff some more. When he drew back again and smirked, Jon figured he thought he had it made.

But before he could do anything about it, the pups scattered back to their places and Chloe returned. “Joe says Mia adopted him into the pack and he was serious about the not eating rule.”

“He tell you what the new guy is?” Matt asked.

“No, why?”

Matt smirked again. Stupid smirker. He looked at Jon and ordered, “Shift.”

“Don’t feel like it.”

Matt snarled. “I tell you to do something, boy, you hup to, got it?”

“Not really. Maybe you need to explain a little better. Like, what does ‘hup to’ mean?”

Chloe snorted a laugh but stopped herself and made her face blank, but her eyes were dancing. Progress.

All the boys were on their feet again. “I said, shift.” Matt growled.

Jon looked to Chloe.

She shrugged. “I’d help ya out, kid, but I kinda wanna know too.”

“Traitor.”

“C’mon. It can’t be that bad.” Then she smiled in encouragement and Jon sighed like that cartoon skunk always chasing after a cat.

“Fine,” Jon said. He took hold of the bottom of the t-shirt Joe had given him (which was tight across the shoulders anyway) and pulled it off over his head. He might have flexed a little for Chloe too. But he’d totally deny that in a court of law. When he started unzipping his pants, though, the males started snarling, so he left them on for the moment. “Okay stand back.”

They did, the boys chuckling and whispering to each other the entire way. When they were a fair distance away that he could make a run for it if they lunged, Jon shifted and watched the world grow humongous around him. When before he was looking down on everyone here, now he had to crane his head back just to see their faces. He struck the cutest pose he could think of and blinked, swishing his tail.

Pallas wild cat

Before the boys could get their ribbings in, Chloe gasped, her eyes huge. “Kitty!” she squealed and rushed him before anyone could stop her. She scooped him up in her arms, hugged him to her chest and made weird baby noses while petting him behind the ears.

Jon purred. Yeah, he was weak, but it just felt so damn good. And when he saw the other boys gaping at him, Jon stuck his little feline tongue out at them and nuzzled into Chloe’s cleavage.

Take that, alpha wannabe.

To read more pack hijinks, click here.

Happy Hallowwwwhat The Hell…?!

Hello and welcome! You have found my Halloween Blog Hop post. If you’d like to read the entire tour from the start, click here. There are some great prizes being given away this time around, so don’t be shy, check out the ghouls, the vamps, the weres, and overall Halloween craziness. And now, without further ado, here is my contribution to the fun:

Happy Hallowwwwhat The Hell…?!

Every year the pack put together a Halloween Haunted House party. It was Zach’s turn to host but he and Breelia were called in for an intervention when Joe decided to put bright orange dye in Mia’s hair conditioner bottle. She was not amused.

Busy keeping the bloodshed to a minimum, Zach drafted Stan and Dan into décor duty. They were unemployed and dangerous when bored so…two birds, one stone. The twins would decorate Zach’s house and at sunset the pack would gather. Zach made a mental note to draft them for clean-up duty, too.

“Mia, put the damn scissors down,” Bree growled for the tenth time.

Hunny tugged sharply at Mia’s hair. “Do it,” she said. “Or I’m getting my brother’s razor.”

Snarling in Joe’s general direction, Mia let the scissors drop and grinded her teeth while Hunny worked on her hair. They’d brought the two of them here for neutral territory. Also because Hunny could work miracles with hair and they were in sore need of one.

“I warned you not to touch the timer,” Joe said, his tone dangerously even. “I paid two hundred bucks to see that boxing match.”

Bree intercepted Mia as she shot out of the chair, dripping hair dye all over the floor, while Zach took hold of Joe. “Let’s go get some air, buddy. Nice night out there. Great for having a long talk about messing with your mate’s beauty routine.”

“A championship match, Zach!”

“Let go of me!” Mia yelled. “I’ll skin that bastard alive!”

“That is it!” Hunny grabbed a handful of Mia’s hair and dragged her kicking and screaming into the kitchen. “I have just about had it with you two. Bree, get me those scissors.”

“No! Not the scissors! Not the scissors!

The door closed on some very impressive slasher movie sound effects going on inside and Zach shoved Joe down the porch onto the lawn. “The hell is wrong with you?”

“Championship­—”

“I don’t care!” Zach snapped. “It’s Mia’s house, Mia’s TV. If she wants to watch something other than two pumped up idiots beating on each other, then that’s what she’s gonna do. Why the hell didn’t you just record it at your place?” Mated they might be, but the dynamics in Mia and Joe’s relationship weren’t something Zach wanted to analyze. So he never asked why neither of them was marked, or why they still had two houses, even though Joe had practically moved into Mia’s, or why they spent a good amount of time at each other’s throats. They seemed to only have two speeds. Full throttle sex, or full throttle I’m-gonna-rip-your-throat-out.

Joe rubbed the back of his head. “Mia’s TV is HD.”

Don’t mangle the idiot. Zach took a deep breath. “I’m going to go change into my costume and make sure those three aren’t plotting your inevitable castration. I suggest you take a long walk and think about your priorities.”

It took three hours to dye, deep condition, style, and put a Moon blessing against Joe on Mia’s hair. Just about long enough for both of them to cool off and while they made up-slash-out on the front porch, Bree and Hunny finally had a minute to get into their own costumes.

Hunny went for creepy. She put in milky white contacts and dressed in a corset painted to look like there was a hole through her body to her spine. She paired it with a black gypsy skirt and a top hat. With her fangs out, she looked like a vampire wannabe’s worst nightmare.

But Bree… damn. She grinned and twirled to show off. That woman wore leather like no one else. Literally. Not many women Zach knew could pull off a hooded leather elf-ranger dress. Coupled with knee-high riding boots and archery gloves, she looked ready to track down hellhounds. “You like?”

He started grinning, then remembering he’d given her access to his bank account three months ago he asked, “How much?”

Bree scowled at him. “Worth every last penny. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am, I do. So how much?”

She shook her head and stalked out grumbling about tight fisted, unimaginative dweebs. Hunny’s mate, Adam, was picking them up in a Hummer limo. He’d dressed ghoulish to match her and wore a noose around his neck in place of a tie. “Ghould eeeeevening,” he droned as he opened the door for the females.

Black angel Mia and her appropriately attired devil mate went in first. Hunny and Bree climbed in after them, but when it came to Zach, Adam stopped him. “A disguise is required for ennntry,” he said.

Zach looked down at his too short pants, geek shirt, suspenders and pocket protector, then back at Adam.

Adam grinned, showing off blackened teeth and gums.

“You’re an asshole,” Zach muttered.

They were the first to arrive at the turnoff, but three more cars were already behind them, wolves howling out of the windows. Adam took it slow down the dirt road. With the sun almost completely set and no street lamps, it was a treacherous drive.

“Zach,” Bree said and his ear twitched at the apprehension in her voice.

The house was lit up but the drapes were drawn so they couldn’t see inside. What they did see, however was an excessive amount of spider webs hanging from the roof, the window frames, basically covering the place. Zach’s jaw set.

As the cars parked one after the other, their company braved the path up to the open front door. Even from a distance he could see more cobwebs inside and something that his brain refused to process right away. As Bree took his hand and clutched it hard, he was forced to accept that he wasn’t high on ‘shrooms. His house really was pained floor to ceiling pink. Bright pink, peptobismol pink, neon pink, disgusting antiqued quilt pink, pink, pink, pink. “We’ll get through this together,” he told her.

Zach stepped up to the welcome mat and felt some sort of mechanism depress beneath his foot. All of a sudden the porch flooded with light and a giant spider jumped out of the shadows with a hiss as dozens and dozens smaller ones dropped from the ceiling on elastic strings.

That was when morbidly arachnophobic Bree screamed bloody murder and ran for her life, blatantly abandoning him to his fate. Not that he blamed her. Not with Joe going on the offensive against momma spider in defense of his mate and Mia dropping to the floor like someone threw a grenade. And while Hunny rolled on the floor, laughing her ass off, Zach stood frozen on the damn welcome mat, for fear he would rip the twins apart with his bare hands if he moved.

Stan and Dan sauntered out, arms around each other, proud smirks on their faces. “Told ya, brother,” Stan said.

“That you did, brother,” Dan replied.

“Remove,” Zach growled. “Now.”

“Dude, we put hours into this. Na-uh, it stays, buddy.”

Zach looked them up and down, the two idiots in zombie make up and fur speedos, and said, “Your costumes. Dead werewolves?”

They grinned and answered in unison. “Yep!”

“You will be when Bree gets back,” Hunny said.

They looked at her blankly.

“Spiders? In Bree’s house?”

Stan and Dan gulped.

“Oh, you boys better start moving.”

Zach had never seen a pair of wolves scramble so fast to take down a bunch of plastic spiders.

Even so, it was past midnight by the time they convinced Mia to put the home made flame thrower away and the twins removed their “decorations,” which infested every room, closet, and nook in the house. Bree still hadn’t shown and Zach was half worried she’d skipped town. Or forest, as the case might be.

He was just about to go after her when he heard a desperate, “Count ‘em again!” Frowning, he veered right to where the morons sat counting spiders. They looked like they were about to start crying.

“What’s going on?”

Stan jumped as if a serial killer had goosed him. He held up a bunch of spiders in shaking hands. “There’s one missing,” he said.

“Find it,” he said. He had plans for his mate tonight and none of them would work if she refused to step foot into this house. “And you will be reporting tomorrow bright and early to repaint the walls back the way they should be. Got it?”

“Yes, yes. We’ll fix it. Promise!”

Zach nodded and returned to his quest for his wayward mate. He was just stepping off the porch, when she appeared, a baseball bat resting on her shoulder. Blank faced, she marched up to the house, eyes watching the shadows for movement.

“Uh, hi,” he said.

“Hi,” she growled back.

“The spiders are gone.”

“They better be.”

“They were plastic, you know. Bat’s not gonna do much good.”

“Yeah, but the twins aren’t. Bat’s gonna be just fine for them.”

And that was when the screaming started in earnest.

Summer Solstice Hijinks

Welcome, welcome to another fantastic Blog Hop! The beginning is here. Check out the posts by some wonderful authors. We’re giving away a NOOK eReader to one lucky winner, and tons of books and other goodies are up for grabs, so don’t be shy! =D

This time around, the handy dandy scene generator told us what to write. My “assignment” was: Author, serial murderer and bodyguard at a police station. Oh, boy did I have fun with this one! Read on for another episode of Weres Gone Respectable (Or Attempted To, Anyway…)

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wndr frm dwn undr @ fair 2day… he’s a killr!

“Let me tell you a story.”

“Oh! Is it a love story?”

“… No.”

“She wasn’t talking to you. She’s talking to me. Butt out.”

“How do you know? She’s not even looking at you.”

There was a scuffle and the police officer on duty shoved to his feet, hand on the taser at his waist. Mia shook her head, subtly waving him back. “So this story,” she said loudly so the two idiots would hear. “It’s very good, if I do say so myself.” She shifted in her seat and made herself comfortable. “It’s a parody.”

“I love parodies.”

“Shut your mouth,” Joe growled. Actually growled. “Mia, get me the hell out of here.”

She considered that. “No… No, I don’t think I will.” Not yet, anyway.

“Aw, come on! You can’t leave me in here with… what are you, anyway?”

“Mink,” came the distinct answer. “You know, you’re kind of cute, for a wolf.”

There were more soft sounds and then Joe’s back slammed against the bars. “Mia, get me out this second!” He whined. “I think he wants to brush my hair.”

“I promise you’ll like it,” the mink purred.

“Mia!”

As fun as this was, Mia didn’t have the patience for it. “Both of you shut up! I was talking.”

“Go ahead, honey.”

“Thank you, Mink. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Once upon a time, there was a smart, beautiful, talented young woman whose boyfriend was an idiot.”

“How many times will you make me say it? I said I’m sorry.”

She ignored him. “One day, the happy couple went their separate ways for a few hours. The woman was meeting her friends in town for a Summer Solstice celebration and the idiot was supposed to be preparing for his big boys bonfire night. But just before the charming lady left the house, her phone got a text message she never received. Do you know why?”

“Yes,” Joe growled.

“I can guess,” the mink said and giggled.

“What are you in here for, anyway?” Joe asked him.

Mia heard the shrug in the mink’s voice when he answered. “You know those guys that have been disappearing?”

“The ones they found in a ditch outside of town?”

“Yeah, those.”

Joe sucked in a breath. “Mia,” he whispered, “help!!”

“She didn’t get the message because her idiot boyfriend intercepted it. Didn’t tell his girlfriend, mind you, which could have spared him a lot of pain late on, but what can ya do?” By gods, ancestors, and hunky Hollywood immortals, he would sit there and listen to this. “So instead of communicating, like a good boyfriend should, he took a perfectly innocent text completely out of context, ditched his buddies and decided to go on a quest, stalking his girlfriend.”

“Damn it, guard! You can’t do this? What the hell? You just put a serial killer in a cell at County? And lock him up with another potential victim?”

“Sir,” the police officer said, coming forward. “I need you to settle down.”

“Oh, leave him,” the mink said. “He’s so cute when he’s all ruffled.”

Mia suppressed a snort. “So the woman’s day was going great. She had fun with her friends, had a delicious lunch, and then they all went to the town fair to meet a visitor–which the woman hadn’t expected because she never got the text message, but she gamely went along with it. At first meeting, the visitor looked really familiar to her, but she couldn’t place him. And then it clicked. The hunky, smexily-accented, familiar stranger turned out to be her aunt’s favorite cousin, Mitch. And no wonder she hadn’t recognized him, she hadn’t seen him since they were ten! When the woman realized this, she smiled and opened her arms to greet her relative, only to have her idiot boyfriend tackle the guy and start beating on him.”

“I thought I was protecting you!”

She finally swiveled her chair around to face the holding cell. “Yes, fearless bodyguard, people die from hugs every day. I owe you my life.”

The mink snorted and inspected his nails.

Joe shot him a nervous look over his shoulder and then looked back at Mia as if she was a lifeline. “Mia, babe,” he said, dropping to his knees, “I am so sorry I broke your cousin’s head. I was wrong. But the last time I went out with a stranger, it ended with a lot of duct tape and a wooden stake. Yeah, I made a mistake, but I thought I was doing the male thing, you know, protecting my female. I promise you I will make it up to you. Just please, please, baby. Get me out of here!”

Mia sighed. She looked at the police officer, whose lip was twitching suspiciously, but he offered no help with this decision. When she looked at the mink, he grinned and winked. “If you don’t want ‘em, I’ll take ‘em.”

That elicited another whiny noise from Joe. He was pressing his face between the bars as if he could squeeze himself through to get out.

All right, yeah, he was an idiot. But his heart was in the right place. And if she left him in jail she’d have no one to dance with at the bonfire tonight. Not to mention unclog the drain in the guest bathroom tomorrow. And he took a pretty serious beating from Mitch, too. The only reason he was here and Mitch was in the ER waiting room was because Mitch happened to lose consciousness for a minute and Joe started it. They’d both be back to normal in a couple of hours, tops. But as pack enforcer, Mia was the one who had to deal with this crap.

“You’re on probation until further notice,” she told Joe. “You don’t scratch your nose unless I say it’s okay. Got it?”

“Yes. Yes! Thank you.” He got to his feet and rattled the bars to get the police man’s attention. “Out, please!”

As soon as the cell was open, Joe raced out like a shot. Mia just shook her head. Then she cast the mink a curious glance. “Did you really kill all those men?”

The mink’s arched eyebrows shot up. “Are you kidding? Hell no! Didn’t you see their pictures? Hawt!” He shook his head sadly. “Damn waste is what it is. Nuh-uh, girlfriend. I didn’t touch ‘em.”

“So then what are you in here for?” Sometimes shifter territories overlapped. She might be able to help him out.

“Streaking,” the police officer said. “He staged a nude rally search party for the missing victims.”

“We’re shifters!” the mink protested. ”Most of the attendants came in their animal forms. What were we supposed to do? Tie fig leaves together so the human prudes won’t get offended?” He shook his head in disgust. “Typical human crap. Can’t even stand the sight of their own bodies. There’s nothing wrong with them, you know!”

“…Right,” the police officer continued dryly. “The rally took place without permits and employed fog horns and boom boxes in close proximity to a residential area.” Which was cop-speak for, They were loud, obnoxious and naked around kids.

The mink flipped him off.

“Neighbors called us in when they started… bending over.”

For this, the mink seemed to have no response.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

He shrugged. “We were being thorough.”

Earth Day Hoppiness

Greetings and warm salutations! It’s great to see you again =D You have found the JustRomance.me Earth Day Bloghop! I know, I know, this is an amazing post, but if you haven’t seen the others, you’re missing out big time. To start the hop from the beginning, click here. Or on the image below.

You might wonder what I have in store for you. Well, today I decided to do something fun and different. As my friend pointed out to me, what could be more Earth-friendly than werewolves? And because we all know that they can be cuddly and also bite your hand off if you pet them the wrong way, I decided I should share my Dating Werewolves Survival Guide. Enjoy!

Dating Werewolves: a survival guide.

 Foreword
This guide is meant to aid and ease interactions between werewolves and other species. The advice and rules contained inside are a result of years of detailed research into the life and social interactions of werewolves. Following these rules will not guarantee life-long mating for parties involved. However, failure to follow the rules may result in injury or accidental death. Extreme caution is recommended in all interactions with werewolves.

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Rule One: Do NOT bring a leash on the first date. This is a major turn off and will cause your Were-date to eat you alive — and not in a good way!!

Rule Two: Be aware that your Were-date is a carnivore. Sushi restaurants are a no no. Another is open/bleeding wounds.

Rule Three: Weres like to play. This is normal. Blowing bubbles with soap is considered fun. Play along. Or back away slowly. Do Not Run. See Rule Eight for details.

Rule Four: If you do not like fur on your couch/sofa, do not date a Were. While they are meticulous about personal hygiene, some shedding may occur.

Rule Five: Full moon nights get complicated. Emotional baggage will form. If you can’t handle it, think of somewhere else to be during that time of the month.

Addendum to Rule Five: If your Were is female, there is another time of the month when it is unwise to be in close proximity. If you do not know what this means, you should not be dating. If the two mentioned times of the month coincide, disregard Rule Eight and run for your life.

Rule Six: Weres are animals in bed. You’re welcome.

Rule Seven: It is a myth that Weres are loners. They are not. They have packs, sometimes with many members of the opposite sex. Trying to separate your Were from his/her pack is a no no and will, in fact, get you dead, fast and bloody.

Rule Eight: Chases are a turn on. If in fear for your life, do not make any sudden movements. Say good bye politely and back away slowly. Moving to another state is suggested. Identity change and/or plastic surgery highly recommended.

Rule Nine: Howling is a pack ritual. Though it is sometimes purely for entertainment, it is a Weres-Only activity. Howling with or around your Were will be considered a mockery or insult and will result in bodily injury. See Rule Two for details.

Rule Ten: Despite their wild nature, Weres are, in fact, very monogamous. People who prefer variety should not date a Were. Infidelity in any way, shape, or form will not be tolerated and will result in bodily injury. See Rule Two for details.